A lot of agents hate networking events, and for good reason. A hotel ballroom, a name tag, a tiny plate of appetizers, and someone asking "so, what do you do?" before anyone has learned anything real about each other.
Here's the alternative I teach. I call it the warm shoulder shrug: instead of building a separate, slightly fake part of your life called networking, become more intentional inside the life you already live.
Where it happens
The coffee shop you go to every week. The contractor you keep running into. The lender at the next table. The neighbor who mentions they might move next year. Local businesses, vendors, attorneys, inspectors, community groups. Nobody pitches. But relationships get a little stronger every time.
The moves
- Be curious.
- Remember people.
- Ask good questions.
- Offer help when it makes sense.
- Follow up when there's a real reason.
The light system behind it
Meet someone, then save the contact with context: where you met, who introduced you, what matters to them. Make a useful introduction. Invite them for coffee. Stay in touch.
That's the loop: meet, context, help, follow up, relationship.
The warning
Don't turn every person into a prospect the moment you meet them. People can feel it, and it ends the relationship before it starts. The relationship is the asset. The business is often the byproduct.
Try it this week
Pick one place you already go every week. Have one more real conversation there than you normally would, with no pitch attached. Then write down one thing you learned about that person.